Hoiberg returns to Iowa State

NCAA Basketball Betting Lines

04/28/2010 - Ames, IA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Fred Hoiberg was introduced Wednesday as the new men's basketball coach at Iowa State and called the return to his alma mater "a dream come true."

Hoiberg, who starred for the Cyclones in the 1990s, agreed to a five-year contract with a base salary of $800,000 on Tuesday.

"It's a Hollywood script for me to take the reins of a program that I cheered for as a kid, played for as a collegian and followed closely for more than a decade as an alum," said Hoiberg on Wednesday.

The 37-year-old Hoiberg played for Iowa State from 1991-95 and then spent 10 years in the NBA, with stops in Indiana, Chicago and Minnesota. He averaged 5.4 points over a 541-game career.

Hoiberg received the nickname "The Mayor" when he received a write-in vote for the Ames, Iowa mayoral race. He was honored as Mr. Basketball in Iowa for 1991 and the following season he enrolled at Iowa State.

The Cyclones won 78 games and played in three NCAA Tournaments in his career. He is the school's third all-time leading scorer with 1,993 points and his No. 32 jersey was retired in 1997.

"We are all familiar and proud of the distinguished career of Fred," said school president Dr. Gregory Geoffroy. "Bringing an All-American -- both in the classroom and on the basketball court -- back to our staff is cause for celebration and it's even more thrilling since he is a native son."

Hoiberg served as the assistant general manager with the Timberwolves for three seasons after retiring from the NBA in 2006 and spent the past year as the team's vice president of basketball operations, but apparently had previously campaigned for the Iowa State position.

"Four years ago, Fred expressed interest in our head coaching position and he's been on my short list ever since," said Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard. "It did not take very long for me to see his passion, his quiet confidence and his plan to have success in our men's basketball program. Based upon his personal experiences, Fred is better equipped and positioned than anyone to take the reins of this program."

Iowa State needed a replacement for Greg McDermott, who left Monday to take the head coaching job at Creighton. He spent the past four seasons as head coach of the Cyclones, going 15-17 a year ago with a 4-12 record in the Big 12, and was 59-68 overall since arriving in Ames in 2006.

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FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

NFL Football Trash Talk

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.